Thursday, June 29, 2006

Hazzards of Love


Its one O clock in the morning and I am an aspiring writer. Deciding to write is an unusual decision for me. I am not quite sure if I’d like to put me feelings out there in the open for all to see. But this is the first time I am seriously writing and its interesting that I've decided to start with the topic of love.

Love drives us all.  Most would say that I feel that because I am a woman. I don't know. What I do know is that I am exceptionally attached to the idea of it. And since cliches are cliches are cliches, its not surprising that I choose to write about the romantic kind.

So what is so terrible about falling in love? The insecurities? The fear of it love not being returned? What is it about love that keeps us so uncertain yet tangled in it??

I met a friend yesterday. A girl. We got to talking and I just couldn't help wondering… So many years of being with someone and you start doubting your judgment. The giddy, romantic, overtaking haze of love clears and you become aware of YOURSELF suddenly. YOUR needs, YOUR hopes, YOUR desires

The first time you let a man talk you into believing that you love him - you are a goner. From then on he needs no further effort to keep you by his side. A woman’s nature you see!!(she will always think from the heart first). You will close your eyes to the fact that he is human with his set of faults and failings. From that first moment, he is your hero, your price. The one who will pull out jars from the top most shelf for you, carry the heavy boxes, hold you in the night when he talks about HIS dreams and the places HE’D like to take you.

You are his lover, his mate – the love is young. Then years pass – he still loves you, still cares. But now you are his companion, someone who’ll always be there when he wants to talk.
You wish he’d make you melt against him, make you feel like loved passionately - but the years have passed!! You are no longer his lover, his mate - you are his companion, his partner.
You feel betrayed, disappointed, cheated. You question your femininity. Why doesn’t he want me anymore? Why don’t I want to dress up anymore? Why do I have more sneakers than stilettos? When was the last time I wore a dress? When was the last time he said I was breathtaking? Am i still beautiful? I know I am still beautiful. But then why don't I feel beautiful?


10 comments:

Recon813 said...

absolutly beautiful...

Milt T said...

I found "here" from your Orkut post to my scrapbook. I couldn't resist reading your latest entry which has great potential as a commentary upon love.

I did find one apparent "freudian slip" in the segment in which you speak of the role you assign to the man you love. You call him "your price" when I guessed you meant "your prince." You know what? You don't know how correct that mistake is in the real world! Sometimes a slip of the tongue can be more precious than the intended remark would have been.

I invite you to join my writing forum on Orkut: Fiction Writers Forum. The address is listed in my forums section. Also, you may find some value in my writing blog:
http://wellwrittenprose.blogspot.com/

Thanks for contacting me. I look forward to hearing from you again.

abhishek85born@gmail.com said...

I had got an email frm U(a fwd one..) & jst saw ur blog address at the bottom! Went thru ur post on 'Hazzards of Love'. The pic for the post was striking at the first glance..

Bt when I came across the line 'From then on he needs no further effort to keep you by his side', I questioned myself,is it so? Hmmm..probably,its more sort of a 'feminist' point of view,still thinking..And another interesting thing I found out was - the post is by a person who's already 'committed'!

Ur few lines are really thought-provoking..Especially,'I know I am beautiful- but I don’t feel it!!!'..

chaya said...

it was an absolute delight to read ur words. i do share many of your sentiments. as years go by you become so comfortable and settled in a relationship you dont feel the need or the inclination to preen and dress up for your guy. maybe its the security you feel that no matter what and how you look your guy will always love you. and they do, even when you look fat and unattractive.guys are always at a loose for words when they have to say something nice to their girl. its something girlfriends have learned to live with.havn't they?

Mridul said...

Its humane to appreciate, love & chase "something new" but then its again the very nature of being a human to be blind to the beauty he already has.

The wind of change is something that keeps us alive, and its not easy. What is easy is to start the change but not to keep it. Its normal to doubt to your own self as to "why"s and the "how"s but then its not justice to yourself.

Keeping the change is not about changing individuals, changing your opinions, but your thought process.

There are somethings that sure change with time, and you cant stop it. As they say, it is the Healer as well as the Killer of all

He still loves you but in a different way, but still loves the very you that you are today for him, you always were, and you'll always be ...

Anonymous said...

Ok I found your link from Orkut and came here. I am going through a break up right now and I could really understand what my ex girlfriend would have felt.
I just wanted to let you know that you have helped me in some strange way.

- saurabh

Shweta said...

darls, this was ultimate "thought" put in beautiful words.............

The word "price" is indeed fit there, coz love is surely pricey these days!!!

Aubhro said...

Very good work of literature but I do feel that it is the point of view of a certain individual with a certain personality. the article though well written is rather feministic in its outlook. Guys have their own way of showing they care but that way more often than never is the "Mills & Boon" scenario. Gals need to understand that guys do not possess the power of telepathy and hence, can under no circumstance know whats going on in their girl's head. So girls you need to speak up and come out of your fantasy world to live in the real, cruel and harsh world.

Paraphernalia said...

Aubhro you are correct. That is a particular woman's view point. I wrote it after I had a conversation with one of my friends. But there is a universal point that men need to understand is that women need to be nurtured constantly. Thats all the piece says.

Aubhro said...

That indeed is the general notion. Men never ever really forget how breath-taking, beautiful and awesome their women are. A man has his own way of expressing their love and feelings which are in stark contrast to what a woman expects. Agreed. Women everywhere need to understand that men are bad at expressing their love but love their women from the bottom of their heart. We men ain't devoid of feeling, we just can't open up. But we still love our women. This is another universal fact. So women everywhere, please understand that. You are the center of our world nd our heart.
peace..!!